Less in my life has been happening, but more soul searching, life maneuvering and tons more effort to create more meaningful relationships with God, friends and family. I've been thinking and analyzing the past, what I've done, what went right and wrong, how I can change, how I can become more like an image of Christ.
Here are a couple areas where I find myself working on -
- My relationship with God. Let me just start by admitting that my efforts get a grade of C-! Pretty bad I'd say. For some reason, I've lived for 24 years and 3 days now thinking that I can have a relationship with Him by simply praying when I'm in need. I know now that it takes intentional effort and schedule blocking to 'insert God here,' not just hoping that maybe I can possibly squeeze a prayer in somewhere in my busy day, maybe. No. God wants my time and my energy, even if at first it seems out of obligation. He WANTS it, that's what he created me for.
- My friendships. I heard this quote on the radio a couple weeks ago, "to be a friend, you must first BE a friend." So that's just what I've been working on. Being a better friend, and knowing that true friendship; the kind where you can trust and share and love each other, takes time. It won't happen over night. Safe boundaries are healthy and slowly being built. I kinda like it. I can be a mystery ... oooo :)
- My kids, which is a subject I can never stop pondering. How I can be a mother that will positively influence their lives, how I can lead them to live a life devoted to Christ, how I can help them succeed in life - those are my goals. It seems almost daily, I search for new ways to improve our relationship. Now, just like my time with God, I need to 'input' these things into my life. I know what to do, what I want to do, I just need to put it to work.
What I DO know with all of these things - time may not always heal all, but it does help. This is a new realization for me and I hope in the close future, I can have grace for all these areas and let go and let God do his work. There is success in sight! Praise God I've gotten this far :)
