Be Careful What You Ask Me

If you ask me where I stand ...

Deciding you don't want someone in your life any longer, does NOT mean that you somehow are better than them, or that they mean nothing to you. It simply means that, at the stage of life one is in, it is best for their well being, sanity, emotional state, etc, that they remove a person/persons from their life, even if just for a season. I think everyone has the right to defend their lives and state of being by deciding that someone is not good for them and that the relationship is not beneficial for either party. That's fair to me.

I wouldn't want anyone to suffer emotionally or by any other means because they were trying to maintain a relationship with me. If I'm hurting you or you think that my friendship is putting strain on your life, then by all means, please tell me and the hope would be that I would be able to respect that and move on. I don't think that anyone should feel guilty for doing that.

If you ask where I've been ...

I can smell unfaithfulness or lack of trust and loyalty from a mile away anymore. And I really can't handle the emotional stress that those people put in my life, I don't think anyone can, it's hurtful. But I don't think it should get mixed up in translation that separation or time apart from those people should mean that you don't care for them. There are tons of people that I love and REALLY care about, but I know my boundaries must be that they not go near my soul, for my health's sake or vice versa.

If you ask what that means for MY life ...

I'm slowly learning that boundaries are a very good thing. Not everyone should have access to my life, sometimes it's just not healthy. If that means they are upset, angry, hurtful towards you and react to your need for a break in an unkind way, then the reality is that they don't respect your health. You cannot chose the way in which someone else will act, you only can chose how you will REact.

I try to think of everyone as good-willed and well-intentioned. However, when someone doesn't display those qualities, I cannot dwell on that, I will not dwell on that. It is ones own choice to get upset, but I have a family to think about, and they need a healthy wife and mother. If I cannot give them that because someone outside of the home is bringing me down, then I have to make the choice - who am I willing to sacrifice for? My "supposed" friend, or my family?

If you ask my choice ...

World, it will always be my family! So please know that if our time together one day has to end, chances are, I really care for you and hold our memories deep in my heart. Good memories will never be erased but clung onto, it's the unpleasant ones I cannot hold any longer. I'm setting safe boundaries into place, slowly but surely, and I mean to hurt no one, but to live a life of intention with people who build me up and encourage me to lead a life of holiness, ultimately drawing me closer to God. Because that is where I want to be and He is who I want to spend eternity with, never do I need a boundary with Him. Thank goodness!